just ask joj
My Korean-American friend (who I’ll call “Mo” for privacy reasons) from Boston asks a two-part question (really, THREE-PART since she asked this on the heels of a convo we were having about anti-Asian sentiment in France):
Can I find Asian food and how easy is it to eat if you don’t do dairy or bread?
I’m not Asian. I can’t speak to anti-Asian sentiment because I haven’t felt it or seen it in person in France. BUT, I do have great Asian friends so I asked them for you.
Ling who is Chinese says she didn’t find it difficult living in France (or in the UK where she studied) as a Chinese person: “I was told that most people in Europe like Chinese people because they are hard-working, interesting and they don’t cause troubles besides making yummy Chinese food.”
Y who is Japanese isn’t sure: “Yes I have experienced the discrimination also in France. But I am not sure it's because I am Asian or because I am a woman... maybe both. I hear other non-Asian or even French experiencing the same thing. I have lived in a several countries (UK, US, France, Switzerland, Thailand) and also have travelled to many other countries on business trips, I would say, if I dress up properly, put make up on properly, act appropriately ( try to communicate with people nicely is an essential..), usually people consider me as a human. Otherwise they treat me like shit. But I do not know if it is related to the race, gender or any other kind of discriminations.
Probably they think I am just an insolent or impudent person dressing or acting differently. In any case I have only experienced being me and I can not compare with others. …I can imagine people unfamiliar with foreign people can easily get offended seeing them being themselves in the other countries. It is a shame that I guess there are many misunderstanding between them. No interests to each other or no communication tools...
In general, people are less aggressive as soon as they know I am Japanese. Especially French, they adore Japanese culture, food, anything. ( Or I start feeling while I am writing this, maybe just because I am able to communicate with them? Try to interact with a bit of respect... ??)
…I am unusually very tall as an Asian woman( I can give silent pressure looking down people lol), I don't need to stick with my friend to go around all the time, I know 5 languages to fight back. Therefore I might have been experiencing slightly different from the others.)”
K, who is also Japanese but has been living in France for over 15 years said, “ici dans le sud j'ai pas vraiment l'impression d'avoir bcp de racism envers asiatique... quand je vivait à Paris il y a 15 ans, c'est vrai que j'ai senti de temps en temps. Ou alors bcp moins parce que je parle mieux français aujourd’hui.”
In English: “Here in the south, I don’t really get the impression that there’s a lot of racism towards Asian people. When I lived in Paris 15 years ago, it’s true that I felt it from time to time. Or maybe a lot less because I speak French better now.”
Geen from Malaysia says, “For me, there's racism everywhere - from the place I was born (Malaysia), to the land of opportunities (USA), and now here (FR). I would say though, it depends the level of racism based on which area in France - because Manosque is quite a melting pot with ITER folks, and your attitude towards others. In general, most French people here … are quite nice, with the exception of some stares (curiousity? snobbishness?) when I enter some stores in Aix-en-Provence.
Maybe 2x or 3x of being called "chinois" or "ni-hao" from them.... I did notice 1x at Kids Village, some other French kids bullying other Asian kids during a birthday party event - but got stopped by the Asian mother who happens to speak very well French.
I guess there is also this 1x when we went to Paris, where we got heckled by others to buy some friendship-bracelet crap at the Sacré Coeur steps - but I would guess that they do the same to all tourists as well.”
My Indonesian friend who I’ll call Wulfette (married to a French man and living in France since 2005) had this to say:
“ It really depends on the city, I think. My first time in France was visiting Paris but as an Asian young girl, the only ‘weird’ treatment I have was the usual ni hao ma, talk to me girl etc but everyone was nice to me.
Then I moved to Ferney Voltaire that’s a really small village and everyone knows my in laws so they’re also super nice to me - I also didn’t speak very good french at this time and they’re super helpful.
Then Lyon. I didn’t feel any problem per se but was quite surprised when asking for crèche for [my son]. The crèche was super polite but kept saying they’re full until my husband stops by and suddenly there’s a spot for [my son]! So I think there’s a very subtle racism here going on but I cannot prove it.
In Paris for holidays, I’m treated like a tourist based on my looks, but most Parisians are rude anyway hahaha.
Aix[-en-Provence] is very international and I’ve never experienced any racism here…
Growing up in Indonesia, basically blind to the racism towards Chinese by the native.. I was super shocked when they try to basically kill off all Chinese during the 1998 riots. Perhaps this very strong very racist slap in the face makes me a bit numb to subtle racism in France? I dunno. So far I didn’t feel it that much.“
As for finding food/ingredients and products, Ling says, “It’s hard to find Chinese ingredients in France, but here Chinese people they work together, they take turns to go to the Chinese supermarket “Paristore” in Marseille to buy Chinese ingerdients for everybody; they buy stuff from China together to share the shipping fees.”
Y says, “Thanks to French people's passion for Japanese food, there isn't a problem finding Japanese food in France. Just cost 2 to 3 times more but same for all other foreign foods I reckon.”
K (Japanese) says, “Pour les produits japonais, on en trouve plus en plus en France, notamment des choses en soja.” In English: “As for Japanese products, we’re seeing more and more of them in France, especially soy products.”
Geen says, “True... if you compare to America, even small towns around the size of Manosque, have 3-5 authentic Korean, Japanese, Chinese, Vietnamese, Thai restaurants. There's 2 asian grocery stores at plan de campagne [between Aix-en-Provence and Marseille]...but under confinement, you can't travel…there's a small shop here, but not much varieties..
We forgo a lot of authentic asian food here…but on the other hand, there's plenty of good french food + wine so, it's a balance, and an experience… we do order hard-to-get asian food/spices online.”
Wulfette says, “Aix[-en-Provence] also have more Asian food with the correct Asian taste. In Lyon most Asian food except for [the Thai restaurant near me] tasted like Vietnamese. I don’t mind Vietnamese food but when ordering Chinese or Korean I want to taste Chinese food or Korean food.”
Jenny, my one close friend who is Franco-Asian (her father is Chinese and her mother Vietnamese, she grew up in Paris). Back in 2018, I asked her if she is considered “white” in the eyes of French people. She said, “en France je ne suis pas considéré comme blanche, mais les français ont moins peur des asiatiques que des personnes noires, du Maghreb ou autre ! Le racisme asiatique est toujours très présent dans la rue car les blancs nous pensent moins agressifs que les autres ethnies et donc se permettent les insultes publics.”
In English: “In France, I’m not considered as white but the French are less afraid of Asians as they are black people or people from the Maghreb or others! Asian racism is still present today in the street because whites see us as less aggressive as other ethnicities and so indulge in public insults.”
When I asked again this week, she said, “Alors, est-ce qu’il y a du racisme contre les asiatiques en France ? Tout dépend de ce que tu entends par racisme. La France n’a pas de haine ou de mépris pour la communauté asiatique. Les remarques qui m’ont marqué ont été dites par manque de connaissance de notre culture, par peur à cause des clichés qu’on nous attribue de façon automatique (ex : manger du chien) et beaucoup par maladresse. Après quand tu leurs explique qu’il ne faut pas parlé comme ça les français, en majorité comprennent mais tu as toujours une minorité d’étroits d’esprit. Au tout début de la crise Covid (en février 2020), T et moi faisions des courses à Hyper U et des personnes ont commencé à ce couvrir le visage quand on passais. J’avais pas remarqué au départ mais il est vrai que j’ai eu une sensation étrange... Théo m’en fera également la remarque une fois dans la voiture. Dans le milieu professionnel, pas de soucis. Pas de difficulté pour la recherche d’emploi voire même que c’est un plus pour les entreprises internationales devant des clients majoritairement asiatiques ! Dans notre entreprise [X] de 280 salariés, nous sommes 5 femmes d’origine asiatiques : 2 coréennes, 1 japonais, 1 vietnamienne et 1 chinoise ! Pour l’alimentation, il y a un gros progrès. Je trouve de plus en plus de légumes et condiments asiatiques au supermarché français. Sinon les grands supermarché asiatiques sont très bien approvisionnés et se trouvent souvent dans les grandes villes (ex : Lyon).”
In English: “Is there anti-Asian racism in France? It all depends on what you mean by racism. Franc doesn’t have hatred or contempt for the Asian community. The remarks that marked me were said by a lack of knowledge of our culture, out of fear because of the clichés that we attribute in an automatic fashion (ex: eating dogs) and a lot by clumsiness. After, when you explain that you shouldn’t talk like that, French people, for the most part, understand but you will still always have that minority of closed-minded folks. At the beginning of the covid crisis (feb 2020), my son and I were shopping at Hyper U and some people started to cover their faces when we were passing by them. I didn’t notice it at first but it's true and I had a weird feeling. T also mentioned it once we were in the car. Professionally, there are no problems. No difficulties in finding employment, in fact, it’s a plus for international companies who have a majority Asian clientele! In our company of 280 salaries, we are 5 Asian women: 2 Koreans, 1 Japanese, 1 Vietnamese and 1 Chinese! As for food, there has been a lot of progress. I find more and more Asian vegetables and condiments in French supermarkets. Otherwise, those large Asian supermarkets are well-stocked and are often located in large cities (ex: Lyon).”
She added this: “J’oubliais le meilleur ! Avec l’arrivé de la K-pop et les drama Coréen sur nos écrans, les asiatiques n’ont jamais eu autant la côte auprès des enfants et adolescents !”
In English: “I forgot the best part! With the arrival of K-pop and Korean shows on our screens, Asians have never had more representation for kids and teens!”
I don’t know if it’s because so many of my Asian friends live out in the country (like me) where people can be warmer (?) or if it’s because we live in the south, or if my Asian friends just have positive attitudes, but this article in the English language French news channel/site France24 published as recently as April 4, 2021 talks about protests in response to the prosecution of five men who sent threatening and insulting , anti-Chinese tweets right after Macron announced the second lockdown back in October. (The EU site EURACTIV published this article on the same case and briefly mentions the history of Asian folks in France. )
In this AWESOME podcast called “We Belong” (IN ENGLISH), they interview Linh Lan Dao who is a fact-checker for the TV program called “Vrai ou Fake” (True or Fake) and has her own YouTube channel “Draw My News.” On this episode of the podcast, she talks about how two French comedians used anti-Asian jokes about the coronavirus that had 2.5 million viewers. She tweets with the hashtag #Imnotavirus.
Here (IN FRENCH) is Linh Lan Dao talking about anti-Asian sentiment in France:
This video (IN ENGLISH) of France24 (from Jan 2020) is Julia Kim, a journalist, talking about how anti-Asian racism in France is “minimized.” She says because Asian folks are such an under-represented minority that maybe they are reluctant to speak out.
As to the third part of Mo’s question about bread and dairy, I sigh. The short answer is yes. You can survive here in France without bread and dairy.
I have friends who either by necessity or choice eat gluten-free (GF) and there are some great options for those folks. In the major supermarkets, the GF sections are kind of small, but in just about every French town (so, DEFINITELY in the cities), even small ones like ours, there is a “bio” (organic) market. These stores tend to have a nice variety of GF pastas, breads, snacks, etc.
Back in 2009, after a painful miscarriage, I became lightly dependent on tramadol. When I got it through my head that there would be no way to get more more more of it, I decided the best way to beat withdrawal would be to do a detox. I just happened to be reading the book Skinny Bitch which is basically a manifesto about veganism. Near the end of the book (actually, now that I think about it, I think they mention it several times throughout the book), the authors challenge the reader to try a vegan diet for 30 days.
The timing was perfect.
(At that time in France it was called being “végétalien/ne” but now it’s called végan. HERE (IN FRENCH) is an article in Elle from last year talking about how to become vegan gently.)
It was a challenge (but that was back when I really liked those). I got really familiar with nut milks and soy products, some of which were downright delicious. But, eating out sucked. Even though I lived in Lyon, the fourth largest city in France at the time (but admittedly the “culinary capital of Europe”), there was only ONE RESTAURANT that had a vegan section to their menu. Trust me, I researched it pretty hard.
I loved being vegan. Never in my life had my mind been so clear, my sleep so restful. I rarely had that thing where you walk to another room and can’t remember what the fuck you went in there for? I found this amazing blog called Vegan Dad where this guy had these kickass recipes! It became somewhat of a cooking contest for me. Could I make his recipes? Could I add a sprinkle of joj to make them better? The answer is yes. And I had a blast doing it. Hardened carnivores who had laughed at me for going vegan were praising my pot luck dishes! (My daughter Lily loved it all so much, she started to request my “yucky milk”—the nut and grain milks I had reserved for myself.)
I did hang in there for three months but being vegan by myself was hard and a smidge lonely, especially since I grew up omnivorous and live in France where every animal thing tastes so fucking good.
Since that time, there has been so much progress in dairy-free and animal-free eating. The soy (et al) product section in the supermarkets grew (it became trendy to eat vegan). My supermarket has cool pastas made from quinoa, lentils, and other vegetables that are actually not disgusting. There is a great selection of alternate milks. There is a wide variety of raw nuts for those who like to get their protein that way AND nut butters (I still love macadamia nut butter).
I hope that answers all your questions, Mo.
the jojdom
Rouspéter
I’m not sure if you’ve heard about the ins and outs of a French lockdown—I’ll spare you the history lesson of how our lockdowns have evolved over this year plus a month—but HERE (IN ENGLISH) are the details of our CURRENT lockdown. Most of it makes sense and I’m happy and proud to follow these rules if it means people will stop infecting each other and DYING.
But among this list, there’s this one thing I hate: Essential items. This article in The Local (France edition) says, this:
What is banned?
This doesn't affect food or drink (including alcoholic drinks) household items or DIY products. If you live in a city and shop in one of the smaller mini-markets like Monoprix, Franprix or Carrefour City you're unlikely to see much change, but if you shop in one of the large supermarchés or hypermarchés then certain sections will be closed off.
These broadly cover anything which smaller retailers can no longer sell including clothes, jewellery, children's toys and games, books, music and films.
The decree published in the Journal Officiel on Monday does not list what is banned, but rather lists the types of produce that retailers can still open to sell. Anything not on the list is therefore barred from sale in supermarkets.
These are;
All types of food, fresh frozen or tinned
All types of beverages, including alcoholic ones
Toiletries and hygiene products
Cleaning products
Childcare products
Maintenance, repair and technical items for vehicles, motorbikes or bikes
Fuel
Communication and IT equipment
Stationery and newspapers
Pharmaceutical or medical products
Seeds, fertilisers and pet food
Building materials, hardware, DIY equipment and paint
But there’s still no current published list of exactly what items are considered essential or not.
So, imagine my puzzlement (and annoyance) at going to the supermarket and finding certain sections of the store cordoned off. This is in response to protests back in November from private ma and pa shops that sell “non-essential items.” In their eyes, it wasn’t (isn’t) fair for supermarkets to continue to sell these items (and have a temporary monopoly) so the solution is to make these items completely unavailable to people.
I see both sides, but it’s kind of ridiculous.
Check out these pics:
In this aisle, the side with the GAMING accessories is open (we know because we were there to buy a “gaming” headset because we need one with a microphone) but the section with the camera equipment on the other side of the aisle is taped off. What makes gaming stuff more “essential” than camera stuff?
The TOYS, y’all. The toy aisle was blocked by plants. We know because we got a request from Aurélien for us to buy him some marbles, but nope. Two weeks of this lockdown takes place during the kids’ spring vacation. So, what about the kids at home who’d like to play board games? Ride a bike in their driveway? Tough tuchus. How are toys not “essential” for kids locked down in their homes?
The entire clothing section was cordoned off, so, I guess it’s a good thing we don’t want to buy any underwear?
I know it’s not a BIG deal and that it’s only four weeks. But it just goes to show how kind of silly “fairness” can be. I support the ma and pa places as much as I can, but the idea that keeping folks from buying underwear and cameras from the supermarket is what is going to save the ma and pa underwear and camera shops is kind of a leap, in my opinion. I welcome your dissenting comments.
La Bouffe
Since I talked about supermarket produce on Monday, I figured I’d talk about farm stand produce today. Well, “talk” might be a bit of a stretch. I guess I just wanted to include this braggy photo of the stuff we bought from the farm stand on the way home from the supermarket.
Also, since we’re talking about Asian food—wontons. A couple of weeks ago, I saw a meme with dumplings from all over the world. My friend Marki told me about a friend of hers who had started a Dumpling Club because of that meme and invited me to join. Ever since then, I’ve been all about the dumplings, y’all. My friend Ling told me about a Chinese mom from our kids’ school who makes/sells dumplings to the local Chinese families and asked if I wanted to order some. They were DELICIOUS and really affordable. But as we were sharing some, Ling said we should make our own wontons—because that’s what they eat in her part of China. Y’all know I was so down for that. So, we spent the whole day cooking—making wonton wrappers and filling and EATING. It was so freakin’ awesome that we did it again yesterday!
Le Boulot
One of the chapters of my work in progress is a reflection on a movie from my childhood that greatly affected my trajectory: Better off Dead. If you know of the movie, you can probably guess why it was so influential for me—I won’t spoil my memoir for you by writing about it here.
I looked all over the networld trying to find a way to stream it and finally had to settle for buying it on DVD from Devilmazon. I watched it with my kids and was overjoyed at how much they loved this 80s movie that is so central to who I am.
I’m pounding away on the book proposal I’m preparing for my consultant (due in just over a week) and really loving this experience of being forced to verbalize what my book is and what I want it to do.
Les Bouqins
I am nearly finished reading Melissa Febos’ GIRLHOOD. I’m scared for it to end because I love how reading it makes me feel. Validated. Heard. Understood. But also SO smart. I thought it was going to be a memoir, and it is, but it’s also so fucking intelligent and researched and insightful. Her voice is so powerfully clear that reading it feels like hanging out with her (even more than Obama, yo) and so, after reading a chapter of it, I walk away with such gratitude. I’m going through a post-graduation existential event wherein I doubt my own intelligence a lot. While I’m a student, I read, understand and in turn, produce writing that, while sometimes heady, is pretty smart. When I’m not a student (like, now) and my life is so much about domesticity and pragmatism, I forget that I know how to read and understand and THINK smart things.
So, I connected with this book because, even though I identify as non-binary, I have always presented physically as a girl and then woman. I relate to EVERYTHING this book says. It is heartening to relate to someone so intelligent, diligent in her research and so goddamn eloquent in her expression. She’s written a book I needed to write but she did it so much better than I’d have the energy or capacity to do. She’s done all the work for me. And for you. Even if you’re not a girl or never lived girlhood, she’s written this for you and your boys to understand what it means to be us. A gift. A favor. A stunning read. This book might join WILD as my very short list of works I read a second and third time just for the pleasure of it.
Here is a summary of GIRLHOOD from her website :
A gripping set of stories about the forces that shape girls and the adults they become. A wise and brilliant guide to transforming the self and our society.
In her powerful new book, critically acclaimed author Melissa Febos examines the narratives women are told about what it means to be female and what it takes to free oneself from them.
When her body began to change at eleven years old, Febos understood immediately that her meaning to other people had changed with it. By her teens, she defined herself based on these perceptions and by the romantic relationships she threw herself into headlong. Over time, Febos increasingly questioned the stories she’d been told about herself and the habits and defenses she’d developed over years of trying to meet others’ expectations. The values she and so many other women had learned in girlhood did not prioritize their personal safety, happiness, or freedom, and she set out to reframe those values and beliefs.
Blending investigative reporting, memoir, and scholarship, Febos charts how she and others like her have reimagined relationships and made room for the anger, grief, power, and pleasure women have long been taught to deny.
Written with Febos’ characteristic precision, lyricism, and insight, Girlhood is a philosophical treatise, an anthem for women, and a searing study of the transitions into and away from girlhood, toward a chosen self.
HERE (IN ENGLISH) is a geniously-written review by Gina Frangello (who wrote the book I’ll be reading this week and talking about in next week’s Bouquin section of THEJOJSHOW) in Los Angeles Review of Books (March 30, 2021). An excerpt of the review:
In the end, Girlhood does not describe the youth of every woman, of course. Febos doesn’t purport to speak for every girl on earth, and there are different books, different calls to action, that have been written for and are still needed by the populations Febos does not represent: Black girls, mousy girls, girls who hate their mothers, girls who have never been tempted by a needle in their arm or sex work or the thrill of a feral boy’s mouth. And yet, if we read it closely enough, Girlhood has taken us closer to the eye of the storm of what it means to grow up female than most well-intended social-science and self-help books on the market. It is a text that adds up to far more than the sum of one woman’s parts.
The Rumpus published this interview of Febos by another talented writer, Kelly Thompson on March 22, 2021: Everything Must Change: A conversation with Melissa Febos.
This part of the interview was particularly striking and meaningful to me:
Rumpus: Another epigraph you included, by Adrienne Rich, says, in part, “To say: no person, trying to take responsibility for her or his identity, should have to be alone.” It speaks to the hope for healing. I think the essence of Rich’s words foreshadow and encapsulate the great question of Girlhood: Why do we feel so alone, so isolated in our girlhood?
Febos: Exactly. An experience intrinsic to much of my childhood, and even my young adulthood, was the particular loneliness of the possibility that I was the only person feeling or thinking or experiencing what I was, and in many cases, those experiences were particularly gendered ones. The nods to Butler and Rich, for me, feel like a way of acknowledging that nothing I’ve written in Girlhood has not been said before by other theorists and feminists and scholars, particularly in the work of Adrienne Rich. I’ve been reading her poetry and essays since I was in college, maybe even before college, and in writing this memoir I was like, “Oh God, it’s the same. I’m trying to say the same thing.”
Sometimes I feel discouraged by that, like, Fuck. You’re just saying the same fucking thing again. And then sometimes I feel heartened by that and I can assign it to a larger dynamic, which is that this has always been the case for humans generationally. We’re not born with the implicit knowledge of all our foremothers. We learn it again and again. We retell these stories so that we know we’re not alone. Only then can we progress and start to assign responsibility for harms where responsibility is due and create social change.
Here is an interview with Febos by my brilliant friend, writer and podcaster Chris Moore on The Situation and the Story Podcast.
Like I said, stay tuned for next week’s Les Bouquins when I introduce you to Gina Frangello’s BLOW YOUR HOUSE DOWN.
MERCI!!!
Thanks again for reading me. Please make sure to share me with your friends. *wink *